Tatiana was so excited her curls bounced with her as she rocked back and forth. Her cute, gap-toothed smile seemed even brighter in the pinkish glow emanating from her suit. I was grateful for the clear, round-shaped design of the helmets so I could watch her beautiful face unobstructed.
I vaguely paid attention to the Araneida Space Park attendant lecturing us on safety procedures, communications options, and space suit controls.
“I am surprised you offered to take me to Araneida Park.” She looked at me, her lips turned down at the corners in concern. “You know… with your fear of spiders and all.”
“You’re very welcome,” I blushed. She didn’t need to know the countless hours I had spent meticulously looking for the best dating spots.
“This place had amazing ratings, and it seemed right up your alley.” I paused. “But what does my fear of spiders have to do with—” My words were cut off by the loud alarms of the opening airlock. The sounds were eventually muted as the thin atmosphere of the park filled our compartment.
Giddy, Tatiana bounced forward with such speed that if it weren’t for the gravity boots, she might have pushed herself off the planet and into space. Grinning, I followed behind her.
Dozens of thick, colorful, pillar-shaped rocks dotted with basketball-sized holes. A multitude of tiny threads seemed to have covered each protruding piece of the planet. The strings connected every rocky crevice and mimicked the glowing crystals’ hue on the path. It was beautiful in an eerie sort of way. The luminous lines remind me of something…
“Hey, sweetheart, what kind of animals are in this park?” My voice felt a little tight because I was pretty sure I knew the answer.
“Only space spiders. It’s in the name of the park, after all. Araneida, meaning spiders, of course.” She glanced at me with a questioning look on her face. “You did know that, right?”
Damn. I didn’t know that at the time, and not wanting to look like a coward, I tried to play it cool. “Sure, I just wanted to know if there was anything else besides dog-sized spiders roaming around.” I hoped she didn’t hear the squeak at the end of that sentence.
Tatiana laughed as she pointed at my helmet. “Nope, just space spiders. And It looks like you’ve attracted a little friend.”
Tense and confused, I looked around but didn’t see anything.
“Look up,” she snickered.
I reluctantly peeked up and saw a horrifying sight. One of those creatures had attached itself to the top of my too-clear-for-my-comfort helmet, its underbelly excreting—
“I never thought I would say this, but I hope that’s pee.” My voice cracked. I froze so that I wouldn’t run around in terror like an idiot.
I stared at the creature while it laid a thick web with iridescent beads on the top of my helmet. Panic started to set in when I realized those beads were actually eggs. I tried not to vomit. I thoroughly regretted choosing this place for one of our dates. I knew the suits would keep us completely safe, and even without the protection, the creatures were harmless, but my primitive mind screamed danger. Plus, it was revolting to watch.
Tatiana bent over, howling with laughter. “Looks like she has fallen in love and wants you to make babies with her.”
She tried to wipe her tears, but her hand hit the helmet. She must have come back to her senses and realized she was in a spacesuit. So, she pressed a button on her wrist, and the dehumidifier activated, erasing the excess water in her helmet.
I didn’t know the suits had that kind of feature. Is there a button I can press to get this scary monster off my head? I should have paid better attention to the instructor. But I didn’t blame myself too much. Anyone would be distracted by Tatiana’s charm. And who really listens to instructions, anyway?
The soothing sounds of her laughter filled my heart with warmth, even though I was hyperventilating so badly that I was very close to passing out.
Tatiana must have noticed my distress because she pulled a hose from her suit’s backpack. She clicked it on and pointed it at my head. Powerful puffs of what I assume was air dislodged the spider and her clutch from my head. The creature looked a little miffed, but she quickly attached herself and her eggs to a nearby crystal.
“Sorry, hon, but that’s my boyfriend, and no lady gets to claim him but me.” She chuckled while taking hold of my hand and tugging me toward the exit.
“Thanks for saving my honor, my lady.” I joked to hide my embarrassment.
“I should have known something was up by the look on your face.” She stopped and turned towards me with a compassionate look in her eyes. “Next time, tell me the truth. I love you. I want us both to have fun, and you don’t have to try to be cool to impress me.”
“Plus,” She smirked. “I ordered pictures of your passionate escapade with Mrs. Spider over there.”
“Pictures?” I looked around and didn’t see any cameras.
“Yeah, they are in those holes over there.” She pointed at the significant gaps in the pillar-shaped rocks from earlier. “The caverns act as a home for the spiders as well as a good vantage point for the cameras. All I had to do was order a few pictures from the shop.” She gestured to her wrist, where a glowing menu showed several options.
I groaned. “Could you not?”
“Hah, I am going to print out your picture and put it in my office.” She giggled as we continued along.
“Oh God, I am never going to live this down, am I?” I asked as my heart overflowed with the love for this woman. I muted the channel by pressing a button on my suit. “Someday, I am going to get the courage to ask you to marry me, and we’ll have a dozen kids.”
She stopped and looked at me wide-eyed. ”W-what?”
My blood ran cold. “What? I thought I muted the channel.”
“No sir, you activated the public chat.” The familiar voice of the friendly attendant from earlier chimed in.
“Aww, that’s cute.”
“To be young again.”
“You gonna say yes, girlie?”
“Pfft, I don’t think this was intentional, guys.”
“Leave the two love birds alone.”
A cacophony of various voices flooded the channel. Conversations spanned everything from love advice, encouragements to marry immediately, and personal stories of people’s love lives.
I didn’t know how to shut it off. So, I just squatted and covered my helmet with my arms.
Tatiana came to my rescue and clicked a button on my wrist. Everything went blissfully silent.
She grabbed my head and knocked our fishbowls together like champagne glasses. “Come on, dork. Take me on a proper date where you don’t look like you’ll die from fear, and then ask your question. Who knows, you might get a positive response.”
She smiled and helped me to stand.
“I love you.” I stared at this wonderful woman and wondered not for the first time how she could be mine.
“You better. Now, let’s get out of here before we acquire more of your admirers.” She snickered.
“I don’t know. I kind of like you fighting for my honor.” I chuckled.
“Well, I’ll have to fight a whole horde of them if you don’t hurry up.” She pointed over my shoulder, where I reluctantly looked to see several of the spiders making their way toward me.
“Yeah… nope!” I grabbed Tatiana’s hand, and power walked our way out of there. She giggled all the way to the exit.
Once inside the safety of the building, we visited the gift shop. Tatiana convinced me to buy her a pet stuffed animal shaped like a space spider. She said it was to commemorate our date. Who was I to tell her no? So I bought her a whole spider family.
I went to settle the bill, only to find it paid for by a previous customer who enjoyed overhearing our love story on the public channel. I wished I could have thanked them for the gift.
The attendant said they would give us a massive discount if we hosted the wedding there. I told the clerk, “No way, no how, will we ever host a party of any sort here.”
Years later, I ended up eating my words as we hosted our wedding reception, children’s birthdays, and wedding anniversaries there. It became a family tradition. I, however, always had to stay in the observation deck because I never could get over my fear of spiders. But my family loved the place so much. How could I tell them no?
###
UPDATE: November 3, 2023
I want to thank the members of the Brazos Writers Group:
Mike Downey, Micheal Nelson, Lydian Pine, Shirley Shelden, Rodrigo Bombardi, Alex Stolle, Preston DuBose, Ann V, Kim Coughlan, and Stacey Patterson.
Thank you guys for reading my short story and helping me edit it.